Transformers: Age of Extinction
is coming out this month. Thanks to a particular Optimus fanboy, I want to vomit every time someone else mentions the Autobot leader's name.
After years of endless family drama, my cousin finally relented and went to jail. Due to some complicated reasons, his 8-year-old son Tommy has become our
responsibility. I have no idea why we have to look after the kid since the boy still has many close relatives around. Tommy's mom is rich enough to hire a full-time babysitter. His grandparents and aunts always boast about how adorable and intelligent the child is.
But no one wants to spend the time and efforts to babysit little Tommy when his mother goes to work. So Tommy's mother sent him to our place.
Tommy takes orders from no one. The only exception is his mother. He acts like a sweet, loving angel every time his mom comes to pick him up. The mother never knows how evil her son is when she's not around. He trashes our furniture, threatens to kill my sister's pet fish and our baby black bulbul, forces me to do his homework, and calls Dad all kinds of horrible names for entertainment.
We only tolerate the kid because we owe his mother a favor. Big time. She saved Mom's life many years ago, and that's why we can't reprimand her precious Tommy no matter what. We can't yell at him even though he's destroying everything in our house on purpose. After all, he's just a child. People will think we're ungrateful if we raise our voice at him.
We have been babysitting Tommy for months. And we do it for free. The kid is a troublemaker, and he enjoys tormenting us because he knows we can't get rid of him. The ordeal is eating away at our sanity.
One day Tommy discovered his "treasure" after he barged in our bedroom. He saw the Transformers
toy collection and immediately took all those figures to the living room. He wanted to play them, and he didn't take "no" for an answer. He smashed the toys on the table and hurled one figure into another, mimicking some loud bombing noise to complete the cruel battle scene. My sister and I had to kneel on the floor and retrieve all the broken parts after the kid left.
The same scenario repeated every time he came to our house. Poor Blackout is now in three pieces. Bumblebee's paint are peeling off and all his joints are loosen. Scorponok's tail is snapped in halves. One of Starscream's missiles went missing. We found it stuck between the sofa and a cupboard several days afterwards.
We couldn't reason with the kid, so we hid the toys. Tommy wasn't happy. He threw a tantrum when we refused to let him destroy my Shockwave figure just because he thought it would be "fun" to twist the toy's limbs in all kinds of weird angles. The next time he came by, he brought his own TF toy.
Tommy owns an Optimus Prime figure. And he's a maniac Optimus fanboy.
"Optimus is the best! He's so awesome!"
"Optimus is the strongest warrior ever. The Decepticons are all garbage!"
"No one can compare with Optimus Prime and his good looks. Check out his long legs!"
Optimus this, Optimus that. Everything is about Optimus. I like Transformers
, but I'm not that
crazy. It's annoying when I'm having a casual conversation with my family and the kid just has to interrupt us many times whenever he wants to talk about his glorious Optimus Prime. My ears almost bleed because he can praise Optimus for hours. When he spends more than 12 hours a day with us on every weekend, I want to drug myself so I can have some rest.
One evening, Tommy was surfing the Internet. Dad let him use his computer in the living room. Suddenly the kid delivered another order.
"Fetch me a pen and some paper. Now.
That's Tommy for you. He thinks he's a king and treats us like we were his unworthy servants. Always using those demanding imperative sentences.
Mom handed over a stack of Post-it and a pencil. He snatched them without sparing her a glance and started scribbling something down on the paper.
"I've decided my Christmas present," Tommy announced proudly after he finished his writing.
We exchanged a wary look. I didn't like how this was going.
"This note stays here," the kid pasted the paper right beneath Dad's computer screen, "so you can all see it. Nobody is allowed to take it down without my permission."
I couldn't believe it. It was only June and the boy was already requesting his Christmas gift. Did he think we had an obligation to buy everything for him?
"How about showing the note to your mother?" Mom tried to sound polite. "She can send your list to Santa Claus so he can deliver your present in December."
Tommy rolled his eyes, making a face with a dramatic sigh. "That wouldn't do, okay? Dumbass."
I wanted to pummel the brat for talking to my family in such rude attitude. How dare he. I had to reign in my anger and forced out a smile when the kid ran to the door to greet his mother.
After Tommy left, I tore that note down and saw the present he demanded. A movieverse Optimus Prime figure, including additional firearms and a nice trailer. I was curious and googled the object. My eyes nearly bulged out when I saw the price.
That toy costs NT$10,000. Ten. Thousand. Dollars.
I remembered my very first Christmas gift when I was at Tommy's age. It was a small pack of grape flavored gummy candy. And it only cost NT$10. You can buy three packages of that candy with one US dollar.
Kids nowadays are so
greedy. FEATURE: CONTEST WINNERS
Congrats to the winners of
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